He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
