She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
