All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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