yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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