Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
two words: eviction party
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
