dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
