I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
