I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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