I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
