I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
