I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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