Do vagina's smell?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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