ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm just crazy horny about you
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
