So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
