oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
