I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
