Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
