I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
