Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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