we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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