So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
