What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
