oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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