I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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