Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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