she smelled like a LAN party
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
