Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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