...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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