Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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