Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
