I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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