so explain again why im purple
no
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Fuck appropriateness.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
