i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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