i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I will pee on everything he values.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm bleeding and have questions
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
