She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
