I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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