in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize