He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
