You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
