Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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