God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
