your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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