it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
