Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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