through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
