Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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