I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
