just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
