i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
