Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
