Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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